Sunday 1st April - Shouldn't be thinking like this

It just keeps going from bad to worse and I'm starting to think the house I'm buying is just a big millstone around my neck

In amongst the turmoil today, I got to thinking about how things used to be. Mid life Crisis perhaps?

Whatever, it all started because if the extreme lack of money again. I began to ponder on the those days, long ago, of the £40 a week bedsit!

Shouldn't be thinking this way, but in a few desperate moments today, and only for a few, I toyed around with the idea of just selling up.

You see, I'm growing to hate the house. To me, it represents the cause of my poverty and constant struggle. There's always something going wrong, falling apart, running out, dropping off or whatever and it's never satisfied with whatever amount of money I pump into it - it still wants more. And I'm sick to death of it all. Oh, and cutting it's grass as well, that took me 4 hours or so today.

I spent my last pound yesterday, I've run out of tobacco (yes I'm on rollups now, as oppose to the "Tailor mades"), nothing left, no money left.

So, why is it then, that my son and wife have seen me struggling with this today, and said nothing about all the spare tobacco the son had in his car? Someones definately taking the mick out of me here. And no, I still haven't got any.

Im so fed up at being on the bottom of everyone's pile. Everyone seems to be taking the mick or just couldn't care less. Don't get me wrong, I'm after no favours, or sympathy.

Lets just say the prospect of jacking everything in, the house, the business,everything, seems really tempting at the moment. If it wasn't for the "Family"................

Until tomorrow
Paul

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