More About Me

No, I'm not really vain! It's just that, in order to tell you my story, and everything that may happen in the future with this log, I have to introduce you to me.
You will know from my previous post that I'm 42, married, four kids, two of which are still at home. I'm plagued by depression which comes on without reason or cause, but I guess that extreme tiredness can be a good trigger. the problem there is that I have to work to subsidise my business, and my job (I'm a Security Officer) involves a working pattern of one week days/one week nights/one week off. I still work 12 hour shifts, which make a 14 hour day after travelling, but having the third week off (hopefully anyway-staff shortages/sickness etc) balances the three weeks work cycle out to 42 hours weekly, which is that European Directive we here in Britain are supposed to comply with.
The depression, when it strikes, is horrible. I crave isolation and hate going out. I have a daily battle because life forces me to leave the house for one reason or another every day. Every day I have the same battle. I can't go back to the doctors as I'm trying to sort life insurance out at the moment, and if these companies find out I've been to the doctors twice about this, they'll obviously know it's a recurring problem - and the life premiums will go through the roof as a result. Just can't afford it.
So, I'm buying natural remedies to help. I've been on St Johns Wort from the local Tesco for about 2 months, and I've read in a health catalogue from someone that I can buy stronger tablets for about the same cost. Tesco only have a few mg of St Johns Wort in their tablets, whereas this other company's tablets are a lot stronger. I'll update the depression log with the exact difference tomorrow when everyone here is out, and I can check the tablets without causing concern.
What else is there to tell? Well, I smoke. 40-50 a day, and I love every single one of them. Obvioulsy I've got a chest/breathing complaint, which again is solved with tablets from the local chemist. Again, no doctor. I drink gallons of tea every day. My over riding, perfect hobby is being at home with my family around me. I don't care what we do when we're together, as long as we do it together, and don't have to go out to do it.